The time that has passed is tremendous and sometimes overwhelming how quickly it passed me. Things on my mind of what I want to do, what to accomplish and so few done. I have neglected this journal and I feel a bit guilty because of it. But why should I? Whom do I owe this task to? Certainly not the journal, it has no cares, no feelings and no mind. Yet here I am writing. I have to remember this is not obligation but for pleasure, to reflect and remember things that have gone by.
There is this song I used to really like, I never realized how true the words were until I came here, and even now I can relate to it. I miss the music I used to listen to… Either way, the song goes:
So heaven’s gone and far away.
Angel’s bell has cracked and fell.
So what’s in store for loss of faith?
Maybe hell will take me now.
Since finding balance, everything had changed for me, I sometimes wonder if I am still the same person as before. The answer? No I am not. But that isn’t to say I am dramatically different, I still have the same history, with more added, but I lost fear and faith. I fear very little now, least of all, I do not fear death. Death has no hold on me, death is a friend I will one day great warmly when I decide the time to be right. Time has changed me, has removed purity, and replaced it with boldness. Though I still look back in this journal and reflect on who I was, how I came here, what my heart reflected, how I had such faith in an existence after death. Because what I feared most was nothingness beyond the grave. I was even satisfied with the thought of hell taking me, because even though hell would present a life of unimaginable pain, I would still exist regardless. Having lost that fear, all I know is that everything survived before me, and it will do the same when I am gone, just as the rest of the song says:
So just hang on, beautiful one
‘Cause when you’re gone, you’re only gone.
And what was then before you came
Everything will be the same.
I do not know exactly what triggered this thought process or if it was there all the time and I have just finally removed the veil.
The Tale of Two Faces 
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