Where the Wild Dorina Is…

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OOC: Trying Something New

((So I have a cool app on my tablet that lets me write free hand like in a journal, so I am going to start writing my blog posts by hand and upload them here. I hope it makes it look more authentic, and you all can read it okay.))

Secrets

I thought I had lost all that reminded me of my mother, my hair has changed and only small bits of the red hair she gave me remains. The dagger my father gave me that was hers is gone, lost in some sort of abyss I can only assume. My hazel eyes remain though, and I don’t think that will ever change unless someone were to cut them out. However, in the oddest of moments, something else of hers came into existence, a book of sorts. It is a black book with intricate designs to them, and a red gem on the spine of it. It is odd, it seems almost like the binding is made out of some sort of stone, though it is so light and soft I wouldn’t believe it. I found it the other day as I was rummaging through my cottage, trying to get it in some sort of shape. The glitter of the red gem caught my eye, and I suddenly felt drawn to it, well more like it was calling to me. When I ran my fingers along the spine of the book, I swore I heard it purr, but a book purring? It couldn’t have been possible. Either case, I decided to take some time and read it, but as I reached to grab it my attention was stolen by a knock at my door.

When I opened the door a large dark shadowy figure consumed the doorway, I almost didn’t recognize him with all the changes that have morphed his appearance and personality, but it was Maric. Or at least that is what I thought, he asked to come in and I allowed it, though I felt as though I was allowing a stranger into my home. He had been concerned about my health and was wanting to check in on me. He always seems to know when I am feeling not myself. As of late I could feel something stirring within, something growing, however I could not put a finger on it myself. So I explained to him what I had been feeling, and he offered to take a look at it. Now when a vampire offers help from within, it usually involves blood. Maric has tasted my blood before, but this wasn’t Maric I was staring at. It was a shadow of him, and I suddenly felt shy about offering my blood so freely. I hesitated, and he reassured me that he just wanted to help. He was also worried about the formula I had been using, because I told him I added a twist to it, but really all I did was add a lot of rum to it. After a bit of contemplating, I bit into my hand (in the curved area between your thumb and index finger) and he drank the blood dripping from my self inflicted wound. He said he would have to look into it a bit further, and asked for a sample of my formula. I tossed him a flask, I wish I could see the look on his face when he finds out how much rum I put in it. He left shortly after that and I decided to rest for the evening.

The following day, my new armor had come in so I put it on and it fit me really well. I wanted something that would blend in with the environment better, and this did the trick. A mixture of bird feathers, earth colored leathers, all together it looked great and it felt great. Once I had it on, I decided I would take the armor for a test spin. I grabbed my sword, and the book, then left to the wyld, I wanted to be alone while I read the book. I went to my favorite spot which is this large waterfall, kicked my boots off, and stuck my feet in the nice cool water then cracked open the book. It was in strange writing or symbols, and after each entry there were letters, some of the last thirty or so pages had letters that caught my attention MQ where on the first twenty of those thirty pages, and then the last ten had MO’D. Those were my mother’s initials, Margret Quinn was her name before marrying my father, then Margret O’Donnell. This was my mother’s, and her parent’s and her parent’s, parent’s. A whole lineage is in this book, my lineage. I wasn’t sure how it got to me, but I am more than happy it found it’s way.

Shortly after discovering this Dyisi walked up and inquired about the book. I informed her that I thought it was my mother’s but I didn’t know what language it was written in. Dyisi looked at it, and the writing and informed me it was in Sumerian. She offered to assist me in understanding the book, which I gladly agreed to. I also had a book on the language at home so that will also help a great deal. Perhaps this is something my mother would plan on teaching me one day when I was older, it is too bad I didn’t get more time with her. Though now I have a mystery on my hands, and I love it.

So just hang on, beautiful one

The time that has passed is tremendous and sometimes overwhelming how quickly it passed me. Things on my mind of what I want to do, what to accomplish and so few done. I have neglected this journal and I feel a bit guilty because of it. But why should I? Whom do I owe this task to? Certainly not the journal, it has no cares, no feelings and no mind. Yet here I am writing. I have to remember this is not obligation but for pleasure, to reflect and remember things that have gone by.

There is this song I used to really like, I never realized how true the words were until I came here, and even now I can relate to it. I miss the music I used to listen to… Either way, the song goes:

So heaven’s gone and far away.
Angel’s bell has cracked and fell.
So what’s in store for loss of faith?
Maybe hell will take me now.

Since finding balance, everything had changed for me, I sometimes wonder if I am still the same person as before. The answer? No I am not. But that isn’t to say I am dramatically different, I still have the same history, with more added, but I lost fear and faith. I fear very little now, least of all, I do not fear death. Death has no hold on me, death is a friend I will one day great warmly when I decide the time to be right. Time has changed me, has removed purity, and replaced it with boldness. Though I still look back in this journal and reflect on who I was, how I came here, what my heart reflected, how I had such faith in an existence after death. Because what I feared most was nothingness beyond the grave. I was even satisfied with the thought of hell taking me, because even though hell would present a life of unimaginable pain, I would still exist regardless. Having lost that fear, all I know is that everything survived before me, and it will do the same when I am gone, just as the rest of the song says:

So just hang on, beautiful one
‘Cause when you’re gone, you’re only gone.
And what was then before you came
Everything will be the same.

I do not know exactly what triggered this thought process or if it was there all the time and I have just finally removed the veil.

Back in Black (and Red…)

Change is in the air, spring seems to affect mortals and Immortals just as much as it affects nature. Hadley Egena is with child… Children? I don’t know what the plural would be for that… Is having twins!!! My young girl has grown and she is going to be a momma. I on the other hand, will be a “mima” aka grandmother. I guess I am technically old enough to be one despite the fact that I don’t look it. That doesn’t even begin to top the cake, one of the twins is a boy and Egena is going to name him Sébastien. My heart swelled hearing that. I doubt very much that Sébastien is still alive, I haven’t felt anything in a while with our bond and the only dreams I have of him are past memories. Even so, I see Hadley/Egena as our daughter and these are his grandchildren as well as mine. He would be so proud of Egena and he would be so honored to have a grandchild named after him. I love Egena with all my heart and I know I will love the twins just as much. With this young boy I know Sébastien will live on, I just wish he could see this.

The man Oswald who was disturbing the town was dealt with swiftly by Vedis. I have very little detail on what she did and I prefer to keep it that way. However, Egena did not care for him either. I guess he did something to her that wasn’t pleasant, again I don’t know exactly what but I think that was for my benefit.

The town has become more paranoid, but I am not so sure of what. I have heard rumors of wards and such, though I have not experienced them personally. I have noticed that lately when I go out on my hunts these raven/humanoid creatures fly above me. They follow me the whole time, and I have yet to confirm if they are friend or foe but I do know that they do not leave my path. I went on a week long hunting trip and the whole time they followed, it is a bit disturbing knowing you are always watched. The guards have also started getting tighter on who enters and who leaves, even to Egena. I don’t ever see Egena being a threat to the village. She may have a different face and a different name, but I still see Hadley in her. Demon or not, she is still the same good natured girl I watched over and loved as my own. I understand protection is required I just think there is a better way of going about it. I think I should work on a way to visit her, I would like to be there when the babies are born. Perhaps one of my books has information on how a mortal can survive hell. It might be a shot in the dark, but I will do anything for family.

On the plus side, the roses are doing much better. Nathaniel taught me how to speak to them, which isn’t really speaking but more of communicating through feelings. I have only touched the surface with it, Nathaniel suggested I try at different times, and with different weather to get different types of information from them. I sang a song to them, whether they liked it is beyond me at this point. But I am quite happy thus far with my progress. I almost forgot of the bond I had with Nathaniel since we both rarely used it, which is how he taught me to communicate with the roses. I have unintentionally been distant to him. No reason in particular though, it just seems both of us are busy. I would like to sit down with him and see how things are going but with all the chaos that is going on, I don’t know if he would care much for that.

I also need to start working on my herbalism. I took a bit of a break from it to prepare for my week long hunting trip and in the process some herbs were neglected and need to be replanted. I wonder if I can plant some roses near my house and use their fallen petals for herbs. It would have to be tested on animals first incase they are poison. Which can still benefit me, I have been looking for something potent to lace my blade and arrows with. Either way it is worth a shot.

I have to say, the trip proved to be very inspiring. When I returned I felt renewed, relaxed, and full of vigor. I cannot wait to start on all the ideas I have. Who knows maybe I can prove to be useful to others for once. I want to have a bigger role in helping these villagers, maybe then their paranoia will decrease.  For now, I take one step at a time, which is painful for someone who is as impatient as myself.

OOC: Catching Up!

**OOC: Sorry for the long delay between posts! Between the craziness of work and preparing for a late honeymoon I had no time to attend to my posts. Now that I am back from my trip and things have slowed down I will be posting more, starting with a catch up.**

Feeding the Roses (Part 2)

I am still looking into the roses…

I fed them animal blood and got no results, not negative nor positive responses from them. However they are still lively at my blood. I fed them the potion that Maric gave me a recipe for to stave off the hunger a while ago, they did not like that either.  During this time a woman approached and asked me what I was doing. I was probably too blunt with her in my response but I was concentrating on the plants. I told her I was feeding the roses and I asked if I could borrow some blood for her. I know, I know… I am a creeper for asking but I was so intrigued by the flowers that I didn’t want to stop testing them. The woman (whose name was Heather… Helene? I don’t remember…) explained that she doesn’t bleed easy so then I asked her (again bluntly) what she was. At first she didn’t want to tell me so I wasn’t going to pressure it. However suddenly she blurted out that she was an angel. Are all angels so easily flustered? I told her that I had a friend that didn’t like angels. She asked me who it was, and I quickly sidestepped answering that question. I mean, I doubt she would trust me if I told her all my friends don’t like angels. But it is true. I have no ill will towards them, though I am suspicious of her in particular. She asked me why it was so dead here, I told her that people were busy or something. I wasn’t about to say the Lord was gone and such. I did direct her toward the castle however, hoping that someone was able to give her the answers she sought. However she seemed to detest the idea of it, and decided to go to the tavern to find out. That made me a bit more suspicious. Who knows though maybe she wanted a reason to find her answers in ale. I will still discuss this with a guard or with Nathaniel if he has returned. I have a list accumulated for him… I feel a bit bad for the bloke. He probably has an ass-ton of work on his shoulders.

Feeding the Roses

The roses… They seem misunderstood…

The other day I snuck out of town to go “hunting” and I tripped on one roses and pricked myself. Blood dripped onto it, I didn’t stare at it for too long but something caused me to look back and I swear for a moment the rose drank the blood and seemed thankful for it. As if it was hungry and I did it a favor. I felt a bit bad for taking off then but I promised myself I would return for further investigation. After I finished “hunting”  I grew tired and slept in the wild.

The next day as I came into town I went back to the roses. I don’t know what made me so curious of them but… Since I gained this new balance as a dhampir I feel for everything. I can sense more of everything and one of those heightened senses is feeling. So I decided to see if the roses depended on the same thing I do. The poor things have a thirst so fierce, I understand them thoroughly. I donated some of my blood to them. One larger rose seemed to really respond to my blood. So I gave it a little more attention than the others. It started to wrap around my leg and try to drink more from me. At first it hurt but I pushed past the pain. Wren had been watching me the whole time which I was aware of, however I did not see Oswald standing there.

For clarification Oswald is a rooster stealing, woman blinding prick. And a terrible one at that. I caught him walking off with one of the roosters near my garden and when I questioned it he said it was okay because he placed a coin where the roster was. As if he was doing someone a favor. How does he know if the roster was wanting to be sold to begin with. When I questioned him further he tried to blind me with some weird light luckily my blood does not fail me and I saw past it. Whether or not he intended to truly blind me was questionable but I am not taking chances with this one. I don’t trust him,  and I know not why, but he makes my blood boil.

So when I saw him standing there my first thought was to feed him to the roses. Wren didn’t seem to be fond of him either, apparently when he gave the rooster back it was dressed up in a outfit and drunk. Goodness knows what he did to the rooster…  Poor thing. Oswald got the hint that hanging around would lead to death, perhaps he got that feeling when I drew my sword. Either way he left, saying he was judging our judgement. Whatever… Wren also had to head in a bit after,  and as for myself I wanted to run more experiments on the roses so I needed to prepare. I went home and began to study. Perhaps fresh animal blood will work? Or the potion that Maric gave me… What to do, what to do.

Burning Energy

I haven’t been able to control the powers just yet, and because of which they burn my body’s energy rather quickly. But I will have a grasp on it eventually, for now I find myself getting tired quickly. Not a huge loss, but it is a waste. I have been reading some of the books I own on the powers I possess. Some healing abilities, and some mental abilities, there are more I haven’t experimented with. The mental I think I got from Da. He was well known for the things he could do to someone’s mind, it pissed me off. He would always try to calm me down when I didn’t want to be calm. The healing abilities… I would say came from Ma, she was never a vampire or anything else that I know of, but she was a medicine woman before meeting Da. She was also very talented at it and enjoyed it with all her heart. So maybe she might have had magical abilities that she never tapped into. There is something else there that I haven’t tapped though, something of my own creation? Who knows the origin, but I can feel it there waiting to be released. Until I figure it out, it will continue to burn energy.

On a side note, I overheard Wren and Ivoron (I think that is how you spell it?) discussing going on a search for Maric. Part of me wanted to ask to come, but I know that others see a dhampir as unstable, a monster, as they should. But there are worse things living in that town than me, and others fear what they do not understand. I once feared my dhampir nature, but I know better now. It took dying and having Nathaniel bring me back to realize the truth. I won’t force the others into understanding because they do not influence me. Only I influence myself and I understand more about myself than anyone could.

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